Saturday, 14 January 2017

Hello, 2017.

UnBelievably, I posted a grand total of zero times in 2016. I guess I got sick of the whole thing. I started trying to type out what I mean by that but it was a tirade of bitter ramblings, so let's just leave that there for now. 2016 was, as you know, an unspeakable mess in terms of the political and the public. With regards to the personal, however, it was interesting and exciting. In June, I sailed through the Norwegian Fjords and it was the best, most beautiful time of my life. I visited places and saw things I never thought I would. And then, on the second day-- with mountainous, colourful Bergen as our backdrop-- Jonathan proposed and I said yes.

In April, I found my dad. It's strange having a whole 50% of yourself MIA, absent, unknown, unwanted, and the older I became, the more I seemed to feel it. Would you believe that he enjoys photography like I do? Perhaps it runs through my veins, it's in my nature. Because I certainly didn't learn it through him any other way. What a waste of 26 years. What a waste of what our relationship could have been.

In June, I adopted a trio of beautiful, beautiful rats: Dexter, Dobby and Milo. I love them. I'm not sure why I've done this to myself again. After storm, I vowed never to love a rat again! Rats live to 2 years old, on average and sometimes I sit and cry at the injustice. Alas. In my more stable moments, I sing to them, dance for them, talk to them, tickle their stomachs, worry about them, blow them kisses before bed. They are so tame and lovely and I want them to live forever.

Later in the year, I attended a three-day photography course hosted by a well-known commercial photographer and they were a few of the best days of my life. I was engaged and excited by learning for the first time in years and years and years. I was inspired and I'm desperate to change my life so that I can feel the same way everyday. I cling on to the memories and those feelings at 5:30am when the thought of what lies ahead fills my stomach with nausea and pain. Onwards and upwards. Onwards and upwards. Onwards.

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