In April, I found my dad. It's strange having a whole 50% of yourself MIA, absent, unknown, unwanted, and the older I became, the more I seemed to feel it. Would you believe that he enjoys photography like I do? Perhaps it runs through my veins, it's in my nature. Because I certainly didn't learn it through him any other way. What a waste of 26 years. What a waste of what our relationship could have been.
In June, I adopted a trio of beautiful, beautiful rats: Dexter, Dobby and Milo. I love them. I'm not sure why I've done this to myself again. After storm, I vowed never to love a rat again! Rats live to 2 years old, on average and sometimes I sit and cry at the injustice. Alas. In my more stable moments, I sing to them, dance for them, talk to them, tickle their stomachs, worry about them, blow them kisses before bed. They are so tame and lovely and I want them to live forever.
Later in the year, I attended a three-day photography course hosted by a well-known commercial photographer and they were a few of the best days of my life. I was engaged and excited by learning for the first time in years and years and years. I was inspired and I'm desperate to change my life so that I can feel the same way everyday. I cling on to the memories and those feelings at 5:30am when the thought of what lies ahead fills my stomach with nausea and pain. Onwards and upwards. Onwards and upwards. Onwards.